Band Celebrates Arrival of New Dollies

The band on Thursday celebrated the arrival of a new set of dollies. The new dollies are expected to move more smoothly than the old and will accompany the band to all of its major performances. Band members generally look for two traits during dollie selection: a sturdy base and a strong, straight back. Both greatly improve candidates’ chances.

Candidates must demonstrate their abilities on Dollie Day, when hopefuls need to show the band what they’re made of. “We get dollies of all shapes and sizes on Dollie Day,” said assistant manager Ditto. “Small wheels, big wheels, wide base, short base, the list goes on…But we look for the ones who move best under lots of pressure.”

Also, the Band said that there will be a strict  “no riding the dollies” policy to prevent wear and tear and possible injury.

When asked about the new dollies, junior tuba player Shotgun expressed his relief. “I’m just glad the process is over, and we have chosen the best ones. Carrying my tuba around was getting to be a real drag.”

There has been a lot of positive feedback on the new dollies. Mellophone player Shazbot said, “I’m really glad we have these new ones. They move really well and make us look really good. They also go wherever you push them without much fuss.”