Brett Favre To Retire From Announcing His Return To Football

Brett Favre recently announced that he will return to play for the Minnesota Vikings this season. Despite the long wait and the flip-flopping of his decision, he felt like he could really have built it up a bit more and included more theatrics. Media critics were disappointed with Brett’s lack of arrogance, especially since LeBron James set such a high bar for egocentric announcements earlier this summer.

“You know, I probably should have been a little more of an asshole about the whole process,” Favre remarked. “I tried my best, but I guess waiting to make my decision until halfway through preseason and totally skipping training camp doesn’t really piss people off like it used to.”

Favre’s teammate Ryan Longwell said that he tried to help out Brett’s ego by planning the whole private plane stunt to retrieve the quarterback from his home in Mississippi.

“Unfortunately, we just weren’t as ill received as LeBron’s ridiculous hour long TV special,” Longwell said. “He beat Brett to the punch, and there was really nothing we could do about it.”

When asked how he felt about giving only the second most douchebaggey announcement by a star athlete of the summer, Brett broke into tears.

“You know, it’s hard man. I think this might be it. I might just have to say goodbye. I really love toying with people and making them wait for my decision, but if I can’t even beat that punk kid LeBron, I guess I’ll just have to retire from announcing my return to football.”

Fans, don’t worry. His retirement from announcing his decision doesn’t mean he is done with football, only that he wouldn’t announce it anymore. He might continue to play for the next few years, but he just won’t tell anybody.