Local
Student Grabs Way More After-Dinner Mints Than Deemed Socially Acceptable After Eating at Nice Restaurant
Stanford sophomore Marcus Stevenson took considerably too many peppermint-flavored mints after a recent meal at an upscale Italian restaurant on University Avenue, which authorities have refused to identify.
Traumatized...
January 17th, 2012
Stern Dining Implements “Frequent Dining” Program to Increase Diners
STERN DINING—In response to the recent downward trend in student diners at Stern Dining, General Manager Ron Bryan has implemented a “Frequent Diners” incentive program to increase student...
October 26th, 2011
Girlfriend to Start Offering Loyalty Points for Access to Bedroom
STOREY HOUSE, ROW—Stanford junior and girlfriend Lisa Alberts has started to implement a loyalty points system for her boyfriend Eric Bellman.
Bellman, who has been extremely flakey over the last...
October 24th, 2011
Stanford Women Run Marathon, Waste Time, Energy, Money
SAN FRANCISCO, CA–Waking up far too early and paying far too much money to run far much too long a distance, dozens of Stanford women headed north to San Francisco for the Nike Women’s Half-Marathon...
October 24th, 2011
2nd Grade Artistic Savant Crucial in Catching Stanford Robber
North Park Elementary 2nd grader and renowned criminal sketch artist Joey Habman was the hero of last week’s Stanford police hunt.
Police contacted the savant artist Habman, who has been drawing...
October 17th, 2011
An Open Letter To Andrew Luck
Dear Andrew,
Let’s dispense with the formalities. We should be friends. I’m not talking Bill and Ted or Harold and Maude—I’m thinking more like Damon and Affleck. You know, just two laid-back,...
October 3rd, 2011
Student Incredibly Ambivalent over Draw Results
When draw results were announced last Wednesday via Axess, freshman student and current Twain resident Jack Burnings was marginally content with the results. Sources close to Burnings report that he...
May 26th, 2011
New Vietnamese Restaurant Coming to Campus: Pho Queue
Vietnamese chain restaurant Pho Queue is coming to Stanford. Famous for its long lines and delicious cuisine, it’s sure to get students excited and really arouse everyone’s taste buds.
“I...
May 25th, 2011
18-20 Year Old Black Man With Dreadlocks and Chubby Indian Man Who Smells of Apples Getting Together for a Party at Your Place
Against All Odds, Crothers Resident and Slav Resident Maintain Long Distance Relationship
In one of the greatest feel-good stories of the twenty-first century, Crothers resident Lori Scone and Slav resident Jack Holloway are managing what many have called “an almost-impossible”...
May 15th, 2011
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