Politics
Poll Finds Ron Paul Leading Among People Who Oppose Voter Registration
Findings from a recent Gallup Poll suggest that Republican Presidential Nominee Ron Paul is the clear leader among citizens who refuse to give their personal information to the government. The poll found...
February 2nd, 2012
Israel and Palestine Reach Agreement: Modern Family Is Hilarious
After years of bitter struggle, the Israel and Palestine camps have reached an agreement: Modern Family is the best show on television.
Negotiations had been at a standstill until both sides realized it...
January 30th, 2012
Huntsman Drops Out of GOP Race in Hopes of Having an Affair
GOP Nominates a Cement Mixing Truck
Confronted with a sorry group of candidates growing more ridiculous with each passing debate, the GOP recently announced an intent to forgo party decorum in favor of an unorthodox political strategy in...
January 17th, 2012
Woman Accuses Cain of “Professional Relationship” as Campaign Comes to Close
Just days after announcing the suspension of his presidential campaign, Herman Cain found himself in the midst of yet another political scandal as Roberta Hernandez accused Cain of engaging in a “professional...
December 16th, 2011
Ron Paul Traded to the Clippers
Bill to Replace Scientific Method with “Blue’s Clues” Method
CAPITOL HILL—Today, Congress heard arguments over a bill that would mandate the replacement of the scientific method with what lawmakers are calling the “Blue’s Clues” method.
The bill would eliminate...
December 8th, 2011
God Tells GOP Candidate to Run to Increase Obama’s Chances
Violent Students Attack Police Pepper Spray Cans With Their Eyes
Within the last week, a video showing rioting students at UC Davis attacking unarmed cans of pepper spray with their eyes has gone viral and sparked outrage among pacifist and free-speech groups. Protestors...
November 28th, 2011
Rick Perry Can’t Name Three Things He’s Thankful For
Presidential hopeful Rick Perry sat down to dinner on Thursday for his favorite all-American holiday: Thanksgiving. Eager to convince his family that he deserves to be at the head of the table, he asserted...
November 28th, 2011
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