Sports
Top Contender Enters 2012 NFL Draft
STANFORD—Following the path of Toby Gerhart and Andrew Luck, Stanford redshirt Pre-Freshman Adam Adler ’12 announced his decision to enter the 2012 NFL Draft.
“After a great deal of contemplation...
January 20th, 2012
Despite Retirement, Yao Ming Leads NBA in All Star Votes
After the first round returns on NBA All Star ballots, Yao Ming was comfortably on his way to securing his 9th All Star selection, even though he officially retired last summer. Many fans are concerned,...
January 19th, 2012
Despite Lack of Snow, Students Still Planning to Drink Heavily on Ski Trip
On the verge of the annual dorm ski trips, many Stanford students are worried about the way in which this year’s record low snowfall will impact trip quality. “I know there won’t be much...
January 17th, 2012
Kicker Spared From Joke
Fiesta Bowl Not PC–Stanford Not Allowed to Play in it
In a controversial announcement, student activities administrator, Amanda Rodriquez announced that the Football Team would not be allowed to attend the Fiesta Bowl.
“The team should not be allowed to...
December 31st, 2011
Ron Paul Traded to the Clippers
College Gameday Allows Hundreds to Enjoy the Oval for First Time Since their Admit Weekend Campus Tours
With the arrival of ESPN’s flagship college football program College Gameday and, more importantly, Erin Andrews, hundreds of Stanford students finally had the opportunity to enjoy The Oval for the first...
November 15th, 2011
Students With 10 Loyalty Points Pissed You Only Needed 4 Points For Oregon Game
Even though the Cardinal lost to the Ducks, students are still up in arms about the number of loyalty points required to enter the game.
“It’s fucking bullshit,” bitched Steven Palmer, a holder of...
November 14th, 2011
BCS Forgets To Factor IQ, SAT Scores into Rankings
Hennessy: “Fuck it, We’re Going to be a Football School.”
After several years of continued success on the gridiron, President Hennessy announced that Stanford University would transfer all funds dedicated to academics to the championship-contending football program....
October 31st, 2011
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