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Poll Finds Ron Paul Leading Among People Who Oppose Voter Registration

Poll Finds Ron Paul Leading Among People Who Oppose Voter Registration
Findings from a recent Gallup Poll suggest that Republican Presidential Nominee Ron Paul is the clear leader among citizens who refuse to give their personal information to the government. The poll found...
February 2nd, 2012

Econ 1A Student Announces He Will Fix the US Economy

Econ 1A Student Announces He Will Fix the US Economy
Alvin Peterson, a freshman who is enrolled in Econ 1A, has recently announced that he has discovered the solution to all of the country’s economic problems. Having covered the first three chapters of...
January 31st, 2012

Medical Schools Supplement the MCAT with the LOLCAT

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January 16th, 2012

Woman Accuses Cain of “Professional Relationship” as Campaign Comes to Close

Woman Accuses Cain of “Professional Relationship” as Campaign Comes to Close
Just days after announcing the suspension of his presidential campaign, Herman Cain found himself in the midst of yet another political scandal as Roberta Hernandez accused Cain of engaging in a “professional...
December 16th, 2011

Bill to Replace Scientific Method with “Blue’s Clues” Method

Bill to Replace Scientific Method with “Blue’s Clues” Method
CAPITOL HILL—Today, Congress heard arguments over a bill that would mandate the replacement of the scientific method with what lawmakers are calling the “Blue’s Clues” method. The bill would eliminate...
December 8th, 2011

Sophomore Quits Turkey after Bad Thanksgiving Experience

Sophomore Quits Turkey after Bad Thanksgiving Experience
In a surprising announcement released moments after waking up, still in his slacks, on the morning of Black Friday, Sophomore Jerry Langdon declared to his friends and family that he was “never eating...
November 30th, 2011

Violent Students Attack Police Pepper Spray Cans With Their Eyes

Violent Students Attack Police Pepper Spray Cans With Their Eyes
Within the last week, a video showing rioting students at UC Davis attacking unarmed cans of pepper spray with their eyes has gone viral and sparked outrage among pacifist and free-speech groups.  Protestors...
November 28th, 2011

Rick Perry Can’t Name Three Things He’s Thankful For

Rick Perry Can’t Name Three Things He’s Thankful For
Presidential hopeful Rick Perry sat down to dinner on Thursday for his favorite all-American holiday: Thanksgiving. Eager to convince his family that he deserves to be at the head of the table, he asserted...
November 28th, 2011

“Spider Scare” Brings US House to a Standstill

“Spider Scare” Brings US House to a Standstill
WASHINGTON, DC–Last week, amidst heated debate over Obama’s Jobs bill, the United States House of Representatives shut down after Rep. Charles Rangel (D-NY) saw a spider. “We were debating Obama’s...
November 14th, 2011

Stanford University Secedes From The Union

Stanford University Secedes From The Union
STANFORD, CA- After meeting with the heads of every academic department, the provost and vice-provost, Dean Julie, Condoleezza Rice, and Andrew Luck, President John L. Hennessy announced this morning that...
November 5th, 2011
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