The creators of iSwineFlu have succeeded in making their app go viral. With over ten million downloads in the last two weeks, this app has been quite the hit on the iTunes store.

The iSwineFlu app keeps the user informed with the latest information about the spread of the swine flu. It uses the iPhone’s geolocation feature to allow tracking as the swine flu moves from city to city and across the country in real time. The app is available in every country and in every language so that everyone can experience iSwineFlu.

“iSwineFlu isn’t your standard iPhone app ,” said developer Howard Wi. “Once a user installs iSwineFlu, the app is automatically texted to all of their friends, and this allows the app to spread exponentially.” Additionally, the app can be transmitted by breathing into the microphone, or by coughing.

Users have commented that their experience with iSwineFlu is very similar to other viral applications, but many users who have had the app for an extended period of time have died.

The ubiquitous press coverage of the Bush administration’s use of waterboarding has won Bush and Co. a handful of new supporters. Surfers, skaters, and other extreme athletes have praised waterboarding as a revolutionary innovation for those constantly seeking new thrills and challenges. “I had no idea Bush was into boarding,” said Santa Barbara resident Derek, 24, who surfs and wakeboards. “I thought he was whack until he and Condi dropped this ill shit on us.” Derek places Bush in an esteemed pantheon of extreme sports heroes alongside those who created and popularized pastimes like skateboarding, longboarding, and freestyle skiing.

For many of Derek’s peers, the particulars of waterboarding remain shrouded in mystery. “I don’t really know what waterboarding is, but it sounds dank, you know what I’m saying, brah?” said Brady, of Huntington Beach. “My buddies and I are just so stoked to try it. We’re saving up to hit the beaches at Guantanamo this spring break.” Many extreme athletes, including snowboarding legend Shaun White, are pushing for waterboarding to be included as an event in the 2010 X-Games. “First the X-Games, then the Olympics,” said White in a press statement. “So what if it violates international law? That just makes it even more gnarly.”

WASHINGTON, DC—After serving the state of Pennsylvania for thirty years, United States Senator Arlen Specter surprised everyone when, last Monday, he announced that he would step out of the closet and join the Democratic Party. In a statement to the press, Senator Specter explained his decision:

“I’ve been on Capitol Hill for over three decades, and over the years, I’ve learned that you can’t hide who you truly are. It took me a long time, but I’ve finally come to terms with my Democratic identity. The truth is that for years, I denied who I really was, I put on a charade for the people of Pennsylvania because I wanted to be accepted, but enough is enough. The Republican Arlen Specter you thought you knew does not exist—he never existed. It’s been hard for me to acknowledge, but now I am proud to say, after living in the closet for my entire career, after ignoring the real me, that I am a Democrat. And now I have this to say to the Republican party—for everyone out there in the Republican Party who is afraid—for everyone who is worried about what might happen if you decide to reveal your true identity, remember, we live in America, and in America, anything is possible. There are more closeted Democrats in the Republican Party than you think, so please, come out! Let the American people know just how many of us there are! We may not all be the makers of super-majorities in the Senate, but if we join together and promote our true identities, then there’s no filibuster we can’t break.”

Shortly after making his announcement, Specter was hailed by Democrats as a national hero. After hearing Specter’s plea for other closeted members of the Republican Party to come forward, political analysts across the country are wondering which Republicans are likely to come forward, but thus far, no Congressmen have been identified.