Happy Take Your Vitamins Day!

47

Flipside Poll: Can I get change for a twenty?

Can I get change for a twenty?(trends)
February 16th, 2010

Issue 47 Puzzles

February 16th, 2010

ASSU Matchmaker Pairs Entire Female Campus with David Gobaud

ASSU Matchmaker Pairs Entire Female Campus with David Gobaud
While organizers initially dubbed the premiere of the ASSU Matchmaker Service a success, reports of tampering have led students and administrators alike to question the effectiveness of the service. By...
February 16th, 2010

Mathematicians Discover New “160 Proof,” Get Totally Wasted


Mathematicians Discover New “160 Proof,” Get Totally Wasted

ATLANTA, GA—Last week, at the 4th Annual Conference of Mathematicians, Brent Foster of Arizona State University shocked the mathematics community when he presented his new form of proof. “For years,...
February 16th, 2010

Vancouver Welcomes Cross-Country Snowboarding For Newest Olympic Event

Vancouver Welcomes Cross-Country Snowboarding For Newest Olympic Event
Evolved not from the highest levels of competition, but in the everyday jostling of the lift lines, the rising popularity of cross-country snowboarding has vaulted the event onto the Olympic stage. The...
February 16th, 2010

Facebook Feeling Pressure From Fast Growing Group: ’1,000,000 Members and Facebook Has To Go Back to Old Format’

Facebook Feeling Pressure From Fast Growing Group: ’1,000,000 Members and Facebook Has To Go Back to Old Format’
So far 35 people have joined, mostly from the Southworth Middle School network.
February 16th, 2010

Soap Running Out!

Soap Running Out!
GOVERNOR’S CORNER –Fear and unrest have taken control of Apartment 205 of Suites-Jenkins after the six-man suite realized its supply of hand soap was dwindling. “We’re trying to make do,”...
February 12th, 2010

Bill Clinton Hospitalized for Paper Cut

Former President Bill Clinton was hospitalized this Thursday to obtain medical care for what doctors concluded was a massive paper cut.  Doctors immediately bandaged the wound and gave his boo-boo a...
February 12th, 2010

What Professors Do During Office Hours

What Professors Do During Office Hours
February 10th, 2010

Seven Year Old Actually Becomes Chocolate Ice Cream

Despite warnings from his grandmother, seven year old Ricky Goldberg continued to eat chocolate ice cream until he actually became a pile of chocolate ice cream. “I always told him, ‘You know...
February 10th, 2010
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